Getting Dressed

Lately it's been a fight almost every morning to get Anna dressed. I'm sure part of the problem is that there are many days when I leave her in her pjs until after lunch. Evie is still waking up most nights, whether it's an ear infection or teething, so we're back to slow mornings as I try to sleep as long as possible.

Last week I wanted to run some errands and Anna refused to let me put her clothes on her. I was exhausted from a bad cold and too many three a.m. parties with Evie, so after trying to persuade her for several minutes, I decided that I'd rather just go lock myself in my room than sit on her and force her into her clothes. I'm not sure that was a better parenting decision since it was, in a sense, manipulative, even if at the time, I did it more for her own protection. Once Anna talked me into coming out, she did let me put her clothes on.

A few weeks ago as we were having this discussion about why she couldn't wear her pajamas to Costco, I told her that it's not acceptable in our society to wear pjs to the store. I told her that people would laugh at us if she wore her pjs to the store. I don't think that actually convinced her, and I forgot about the conversation.

Then last Tuesday I had to take Anna and Evie with me to the Church. Dan was going to meet us there and take the kids home for me. Evie had just had another leaky diaper, so rather than put her in a new outfit, I figured I'd just dress her in her pajamas. Anna looked at her and said, "People laugh at Evie, huh Mama." She said it so matter-of-factly, and at first, I didn't know what she was talking about.

I guess it was an instance of my own words coming back to haunt me because I don't want Anna to grow up afraid of people laughing at her. I want her to be herself and feel free to experiment (within some limits, of course). But maybe I really shouldn't worry, because I don't think she's that worried about people laughing at her or Evie or me, for that matter. I think in her world that's just something that happens if you wear pjs in public and maybe we'll all have a good laugh together.

So I've decided to take the modesty and self-respect angle now when we revisit this discussion and I'm sure it's just as abstract to her, but these days I'm not sure I could really say anything she'd find convincing.